things are changing

so my mom died on the 26 of december. i miss her. i get to take care of my sister marleen. she is a great person but she has some issues. she has a set secudle and she gets scared/anxinity/disconcet when its messed with. it starts in the morning at 5 am when she has to get up. to sit around and drink coffee till she has to leave at 745 that means i get to wake up at 445 and make sure every thing is ready for her. then i got to be home so she wont walk into a empty house. then i get to cook supper that she has to have for 530 then she goes to bed for 9

i am soo not use to this, i didnt ask for this!!!! now i get to take care of a 52 year old meantla retared sister.

i feal like i am going out of my mind

im allways tired and argaved i am going to explode ifeal sooo alone im sad all the time im not like this something got to change or its going to kill me

i dont want to srug my responsibilty but wow